"Top 10 Dictator April Fool's Gags"
10) Propagandize untruthiness like "We are winning."
9) Hole up in your palaces and fortresses and say you're just having a spa day.
8) Shake your fist in front of crowds whenever a news camera is nearby and declare that you are untouchable.
7) Brutally manhandle alleged rape victims in front of the media, promise them legal aid, and then charge them with criminally subverting national security.
6) Declare that all the unrest in your country is really all your fault, then say you're just kidding, you still blame America, Israel, al-Qaida and Reality TV.
5) Announce and defend your legitimacy saying you are the people's choice, and then kill anyone trying to conduct a popular poll about that claim.
4) Proclaim that you are willing to talk to your opponents. If they are stupid enough to show up, kill them.
3) Promise everyone reform, greater freedom, and better economic circumstances, and deliver it by killing more of them.
2) Call President Obama and tell him you're just a misunderstood man of peace.
... and the #1 Dictator April Fool's Gag is:
1) Dress like the regular people of your country and tell them you've resigned and that freedom and victory is theirs. Then take out a machine gun, shoot them while you laugh maniacally, and say, "April Fool's".
Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.
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