Laughzilla's Last Link! (Now Up Front!) Always Love Your Mother, especially Tomorrow.
Funny One Liner:
"Mother's Day is a very complex holiday. It starts with a simple premise: Let your Mother know you love her. After that, she'll argue with you all day, telling you how you
don't love her, just so that you have to apologize and show her how much you love her, despite being yelled at all day." ~ Yasha Harari
15. My Mother Taught Me About LOVE ... "Always act out of love and kindness." (Phone Rings, Mother answers) "Damnit, I told you not to call me now, bitch!"
14. My Mother Taught Me About DREAMS ... "You can do anything if you set your heart and mind to it. Just don't try climbing Mount Everest in a swimsuit."
13. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION ... "Forget about waiting until your father gets home. I am here now, and this Bitter Almond will teach you not to curse!"
12. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING ... "You are going to get it when we get home! And right now!"
11. My Mother taught me PROBLEM SOLVING ... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"
10. My Mother taught me LOGIC ... "It's 9pm. I'm so tired. Go to bed."
9. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE ... "If you keep up your grumpy mood and don't eat your food, you'll have a painful headache after I smack you."
8. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD ... "If you don't study hard and work harder, you'll never get a good job, and you'll always struggle in life."
7. My Mother taught me HUMOR ... "Ha Ha (Sarcastically). That's not funny."
6. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT ... "If you don't take responsibility, I'll call the Police and send you off to jail."
5. My Mother taught me about GENETICS ... "You're stubborn and angry just like your father. Now Turn that TV Off! TURN THAT TV OFF before I smash it to pieces!"
4. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS ... "You think you know what it is to love someone? I almost died giving birth to you." (Smack!) "Now say 'Thank you!'"
3. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE ... "When you get to be my age, you'll regret you aren't as wise as I am."
2. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE ... "One day you'll have kids you love. Then you'll know what it's like!"
... and the #1 Thing My Mother Taught Me is:
1. My Mother taught me about HOPE ... "Go for your dreams. The rest is all crap."
