"Top 10 Holocaust Jokes Jews can tell without feeling guilty" |
10) People think comedy is irrationally optimistic and thus frivolous. Oy! What a terrible msunderstanding. As the brilliant meshuganeh kopf Mark Twain noted, "The secret
source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven." Oy Vey! It sounds terrible ... like they need some Jewish comedians up there!
9) During the Holocaust, in the Lodz ghetto, Lots of Lodz jokes were about the food shortages. "Before the war we ate ducks and walked like horses," said one Jew to
another, "now we eat horses and waddle like ducks."
And if someone was seen running, people would say "He eats racehorses."
8) During WWII, A Jewish father taught his son how to say grace before meals. "Today in Germany the proper form of grace is 'Thank God and Hitler.'"
"But suppose the Fuhrer dies?" asked the boy.
"Then you just thank God."
7) Sigmund Freud lived in Vienna when the Nazis marched into the city. They arrested him and told him he would be allowed to leave the country if he would sign a statement
saying he had not been mistreated. Freud sat down and wrote the following note:
To Whom It May Concern:
I can heartily recommend the Gestapo to anyone.
6) Two Jews in Berlin are discussing their plight.
"Terrible," says one. "Persecutions, no rations, discrimination, and quotas. Sometimes I think we would have been better off if we had never been born."
"Sure," says his friend, "but who has that much luck -- maybe one in 50,000."
5) As Hitler's armies faced more and more setbacks, he asked his astrologer, "Am I going to lose the war?"
"Yes," the astrologer said.
"Then, am I going to die?" Hitler asked.
"When am I going to die?"
"On a Jewish holiday."
"But on what holiday?"
"Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday."
4) In Munich, during the Holocaust, cabaret performer Weiss Ferdl would bring out large photographs of Hitler, Goering, and other Nazi leaders, and then think out loud,
"Now should I hang them, or line them up against the wall?"
3) A fatally wounded German soldier asked his chaplain to grant one final wish. "Place a picture of Hitler on one side of me, and a picture of Goering on the other side.
That way I can die like Jesus, between two thieves."
2) Werner Finck was one of the most popular comedians during WWII. His cabaret was closed, re-opened, and re-closed several times by the Nazis. When someone did not like
his political material and shouted from the audience, "Dirty Jew," Finck responded, "I only look this intelligent!" When he spotted Gestapo observers in the audience, he
would ask them, "Am I speaking too fast for you?"
... and the #1 Holocaust Jokes Jews can tell without feeling guilty is:
1) Goebbels was touring German schools. At one, he asked the students to call out patriotic slogans.
"Heil Hitler," shouted one child.
"Very good," said Goebbels.
"Deutschland uber alles," another called out.
"Excellent. How about a stronger slogan?"
A hand shot up, and Goebbels nodded.
"Our people shall live forever," the little boy said.
"Wonderful," exclaimed Goebbels. "What is your name, young man?"
Reference: Yasha Harari for The Daily Dose and Oy Vey.