10. Executive: Pack up. We're leaving. We only have a thousand dollars anyway.
Quimby: There's a thousand dollar leaving-town tax!
9. Mayor Quimby: Congratulations Ned, you are our new town crier. May your shrill, nasal voice ring throughout our streets and brains.
8. Mayor Quimby: [listening to the radio, while watering his marijuana plants] Hey! I am no longer illiterate.
7. Mayor Quimby: Greetings, fellow Irishmen and lady Irishmen. I, Joseph Fitzgerald O'Malley Fitzpatrick O'Donnell The Edge Quimby, welcome you to Springfield's
first booze-free St. Patrick's Day!
6. Marge: My name is Marge Simpson and I have an idea. It may sound a little boring at first.
Mayor Quimby: Chat away. I'll just amuse myself with some pornographic playing cards.
5. Mayor Quimby: People, please. We're all frightened and horny, but we can't let some killer dolphins keep us from living and scoring!
4. Mayor Quimby [in 'Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk']: Iik ben ein springfielder.
3. Mayor Quimby [in 'Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming']: Our city will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a city nearby that will?
2. Mayor Quimby [in '$pringfield']: Very well then, instead of fleeing this town, I'll stay here and grow fat off kickbacks and slush funds.
... and the #1 funny Mayor Quimby Quote is:
1. Mayor Quimby: (sotto voice) Human roaches...feeding off each other's garbage. The only thing you can't buy here is dignity! (into the microphone) Welcome,
swappers, to the Springfield Swap Meet. Ich bin ein Springfield Swap Meet patron! (sotto voice again) I need a drink and a shower...
Reference: Springfield Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby, The Simpsons