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Thanksgiving fugitive Wanted poster Editorial Caricature and Top Ten Turkey Day jokes

Tryptophan remains the single biggest myth about the Thanksgiving feast. What makes you tired isn’t the sleep-inducing chemical in the bird or the sheer quantity of food eaten. It’s all the dinner talk. — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 Turkey Day dinner jokes”

10. Taste: 12% of Americans do not eat turkey on Thanksgiving. Apparently, they did not get the memo.

9. Ben Franklin: While he never actually formally proposed the turkey to be America’s national bird, he was known to informally eat a few, which can not be said about the bald eagle.

8. Culinary: Turkey Day dinner is the fowlest feast you’ll ever enjoy this much.

7. Haiku: Thanksgiving dinner. Without turkey, it’s a miss, though not for the bird.

6. Pilgrim: If you think being a pilgrim was difficult, you should try being the turkey.

5. Two Words: Wanna tryptophan?

4. Observational: Turkey eggs are bigger than chicken eggs, and less expensive than ostrich eggs. So why don’t people eat turkey eggs?

3. Q & A: Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: Like the chicken, it could not fly.

2. Americana: The people can overlook the wholesale slaughter of nearly 50 Million birds for a single night of dinner because Thanksgiving dinner is one of the most important parts of the quilted American tapestry. We Yanks really like our quilts.

… and the #1 Turkey Day dinner joke is:

1. Survival: Wild turkey survives not on its wits, but on the fact that its captive brothers and sisters are better fed.

Source: Yasha Harari for

Note: No actual turkeys were killed, harmed, threatened, harrassed or otherwise subject to inhumane treatment during the production of these jokes. The turkeys represented in this production were all volunteers who merely imitate actual turkeys, and they may or may not have been changed for editorial purposes. Any similarity between the turkeys seen or read here and actual turkeys is completely mental, and you should really question yourself if you think we would plot against the great holiday bird for the sake of a few cheap laughs. Bon appetit!