The Daily Dose

Bashar Assad Will Always Love You editorial cartoon and Top 10 Superstar jokes that kill

“Bashar Assad always enjoyed the vocal stylings of Whitney Houston, because as a young man he always dreamed of growing up to become a diva. Imagine his disappointment when he had to inherit a brutal dictatorship. No wonder he’s so angry.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 Superstar jokes that kill”

10. Syria believes that children are the future … and that’s why Assad’s forces are killing as many of them as possible before they take over.

9. Whitney Houston died in a bathtub, causing Syrian President Bashar Assad to fear emulating her final act.

8. Haiku: Whitney Houston died. President Assad still lives. Murphy’s Law is cruel. 

7. If only the Syrian dictator would have a bodyguard as charismatic and bad as Kevin Costner, fate could have rid the world of Assad before Whitney Houston left.

6. If a superstar dies of self-induced abuse, and a dictator thrives on abusing others until they die, which would your doctor order for your longevity?

5. Even a superstar can’t draw blood from a stone, but a third rate dictator with Russian firepower and no real political pressure can draw blood from thousands of people before anyone does anything to stop him.

4. Whitney Houston may have been a musical trailblazer for followers of the diva genre, but Bashar Assad has been blazing trails full of civilians for a solid year now even if he doesn’t have a lot of followers of the twitter genre.

3. Whitney Houston was a famous globetrotter. Bashar Assad is an infamous globetrotter. Neither of them played for the Harlem Globetrotters.

2.  If you’re Bashar Assad, you can kill for thrills. If you’re Whitney Houston, you might have been killed by pills, but at least you weren’t an evil dictator.

… and the #1 Superstar jokes that kill  is:

1. Fame is a double-edged sword. Power is an arsenal of ordinance. Money is the fuel that keeps them both going, until the whole thing collapses.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.