The Daily Dose

Rosh HaShanah cartoon and Top 10 Jewish New Year jokes

“Top 10 Jewish New Year jokes”

10. Honey, Apples and Pomegranate make a sweet Jewish new year holiday. Kvetching makes it bitter sweet.

9. Large festive gatherings on the Jewish New Year are a popular way for old feuds to be settled, and new ones to start. 

8. It’s that time of year again, when Jews celebrate the New Year and take about a month of holidays to digest all the meals.

7. Q: What do Jewish American Princesses want for Rosh HaShanah? A: Good seat; at synagogue and at the restaurant.

6. Q: Why do Jews celebrate with sweet things on Rosh HaShanah? A: Because all too often the rest of the year is so bitter.

5. A Jew, a Christian, a Moslem and a Zen Buddhist all raise a glass on the Jewish New Year, and activists are upset about it.

4. Jews don’t typically celebrate the New Year getting wasted, because tomorrow will arrive soon enough, and really, who has time for a hangover? 

3. Q: How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb on Rosh Hashanah? A: What? Change the light bulb, already. Don’t be a dumkopf.

2. Jewish New Year jokes are easy to tell among Goyim. You just start off with, “This is a funny Jewish joke. Believe me.”

… and the #1 Jewish New Year joke  is:

1. The Jewish New Year is not just an annual celebration of the Earth’s glorious orbit around the Sun. It’s a vital time for pomegranate, apple and honey merchants.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com and OyVey.co.il.