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:^) Thursday, November 5, 2009 {Vol. 14, # 008} (^8
Weird wavy lines Kansas City Star Here's one of those weird little details that readers always notice: Several people called me Monday to tell me their copies of the editorial page had a ...
Monte Poole: Oakland Raiders -- Weird is the new normal San Jose Mercury News LIKE COAL miners and infantrymen, the Raiders are accustomed to carrying on regardless of conditions. They shrug or sigh or laugh cryptically ...
'Weird Creatures' Host Nick Baker Meets a Mole Lizard FOXNews If you're not watching Weird Creatures on the Science Channel, you're missing out on some truly bizarre stuff. From the rainforests of Borneo to the ...
Maine Voters Are Weird TheStranger.com Voters approved a referendum making Maine the fifth state to allow retail pot dispensaries, but medical marijuana advocates say it won't become like ...
Weird Al parodies the best University of Pittsburgh The Pitt News If it's a problem you're looking to fix, then The Essential ?Weird Al? Yankovic is for you. The 38-track, two-disc album features Yankovic's best-known ...
Weird Al's Ode To The Trashmen KUAR According to Weird Al, not only were The Trashmen arguably the best surf band ever to come out of Minneapolis, but with their 1964 hit "Surfin' Bird," they ...
Good news/Weird news briefs 24 Hours Vancouver By 24 HOURS NEWS SERVICES URINE TROUBLE A university student who was photographed urinating over a war memorial was warned yesterday that he could be jailed ...
'Comedy Is Dead' at the Masonic Lodge tonight Los Angeles Times The story goes that Duncan Trussell, a delightfully deranged LA comedian, proclaimed comedy to be dead after watching an episode of "Last Comic Standing. ...
Los Angeles Comedy Festival Los Angeles Times For three weeks, the Los Angeles Comedy Festival will dish out as much comedy as our entertainment-obsessed city can stand. ...
Funny Quote:
"I never attempt to make money on the stock market. I buy on the assumption that they could close the market the next day and not reopen it
for five years." ~ Warren Buffett
20. You consider "on sale" to be anything cheaper than the GNP of Cuba.
19. Your children are named after the Anchors on CNBC and the Fox Business Channel.
18. You've forbidden your daughter to shop at Wal-Mart for fear someone might see her, and because your portfolio's big box retailer is Target.
17. When your checking account dips below $20,000, you go into "Frugal" mode ...
16. ... "Frugal" mode to you means buying one diamond bracelet at Tiffany's instead of two.
15. When you fill out a survey, you can't help laughing because the "Annual Income" box only goes up to $500,000 a year.
14. In the event of World War III, you could melt down your silverware and have enough pure silver to make it across the border and buy a small hut in the
nether-regions of Canada.
13. The memories of you playing Barbie with your sister always include you buying up all the other Barbie's houses and foreclosing on their mortgages, while
downsizing Ken to an appropriate Gov't regulated salary cap because his company took bailout money.
12. You have "People" ...
11. Your six year old knows what a hostile take-over is, discusses Napoleon Hill, and has a poster of Michael Milken on his bedroom wall.
10. The hardest decision you have to make all day is whether to put marble or hardwood floors in your kid's club house.
9. When you start walking into Saks Fifth Avenue, the entire staff drops everything and starts screaming "They're here! They're here!" while sirens go off over
the store intercom system.
8. You get depressed because you can't afford a new car until your dividends come in... meaning you have to drive that two year old Rolls Royce for another two
months.
7. Your favorite hobby is translating the words "Estate Tax" into Hebrew looking for evidence that they are the sign of the Antichrist.
6. You own a share of Berkshire Hathaway.
5. Berkshire Hathaway invests in you.
4. Your burn candles to Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger and pray that the Lord will increase their life until long after you, your children, and your
grandchildren have passed away.
3. During a cold winter night you can't find any more firewood so you hack the leg off your Steinway grand piano and use it to keep the fire going until your
butler shows back up with something more flammable.
2. Your children play monopoly with real money.
... and the Number 1 Sign "You Know You're Rich When ... "
1. You pay for cheap material goods in diamonds and gold ingots.
