iPads and Ides of March cartoon and Top 10 foretelling and store telling jokes

“What app would Brutus have used to do-in Julius Caesar?” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 foretelling and store telling jokes”
10. The guru on the mountain warned the shop keep to stop inflating his price. The vendor chortled, ’till his customers switched to another brand of rice.
9. The cobbler warned the shoemaker they would run out of customers as they were running out of soles. The shoemaker replied, “Cobbler, this isn’t Heaven or Hell, so we’re never short on souls.”
8. The shopkeeper shouted at the delinquent kids loitering by his store front to get lost. The next day he was arrested on suspicion of involvement with their disappearance.
7. The apple told the caterpillar, “Leave me be I’ll invent technology that will crush you.” The Caterpillar came back later and crushed the Apple with the force of a bulldozer.
6. Haiku: She warned the big store. They laughed at her suggestion. Look who’s laughing now.
5. The Little Shop of Horrors known as Washington, DC, promised you Change in 2008. Look in your wallet. What do you see where there used to be bills?
4. Gypsies don’t like eating at Chinese Restaurants, because the fortune cookies are always different from what the soothsayers believe.
3. A shop keeper of old trinkets from Tibet was convicted of refusing to sell a symbol of his old culture to a German customer. Unfortunately, the plaintiff who won was Adolf Hitler.
2. A Wal*Mart employee told his managers that if they did not improve employee conditions, there would be consequences. His foretelling was ignored, until one day, the janitors did not show up to work.
… and the #1 Foretelling and Store Telling joke is:
1. A disgruntled Apple Store employee promised that when he left all hell would break loose. They laughed at him, until they realized that the next day, the new iPad was going on sale, and he had the only key to the cash register. O, for the Ides of March.
Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.