The Daily Dose

Higgs Boson Fireworks in Syria cartoon and Top 10 Dr. Assad jokes

“While scientists at the CERN Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in Switzerland celebrated the discovery of the Higgs Boson particle, the evil Dr. Assad proved once again that he doesn’t need fancy, multibillion dollar supercolliders to demonstrate the laws of Physics. He just needs cheap ammo from China and Russia.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 Dr. Assad jokes”

10. At the Friends of Syria Summit in Paris, France, the international community once again underscored the importance of standing by one’s ally in words, and doing nothing to actually help.

9. The evil Doctor Assad laughs maniacally when he thinks of his ability to stay in power, because he knows exactly how weak his opposition is, and how great are his contracts with Russia and China.

8. Suspicious: What possible motive could you have for wanting to simulate a hybrid of the Higgs Boson particle discovery with a cartoon and jokes about the Civil War in Syria? Are you trying to win the Guinness Book of World Records for least googled topic?

7. The evil Dr. Assad has studied the Libyan revolution that ousted Gadaffy, and has concluded that it is different, because he wears normal looking business suits, and is constantly surrounded only by one woman: his online shopaholic British wife.

6. What the evil Dr. Assad knows that you don’t, about staying in power, is that you only have to rule with an iron fist to create super collisions.

5. Haiku: Higgs Boson found. Yay. Now we know what makes the mass. Get up of your ass.

4. President Obama has a super secret team of scientists and generals working on developing a green phone that would get rid of the evil Dr. Assad and create low-cost Higgs Boson particles through p2p networked supercomputing and improve the environment by reducing the amount of smoke in the Syrian atmosphere. It is scheduled for release in 2013, but only if he the American president wins re-election.

3. Realpolitik: When diplomats speak, people yawn.

2. Impolitic: The reason it takes so long to resolve conflicts like the Civil War in Syria, is because it takes so long for corrupt businessmen and politicians to move their dirty financial assets and cover their tracks.

… and the #1 Dr. Assad joke is:

1. Three words: War trumps science.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.